Sometimes, you realize that your deepest wish, your heart's desire, and that which you never thought possible was becoming your reality. Many years ago, I dared to express out loud what my heart's desire was...and it is becoming apparent to me that this desire is indeed becoming a reality, at least in part. I am grateful for the chance to live my dream and yet, it is terrifying. I never actually thought I could live the artful life I am living (no, I haven't given up my day job, but my other life is becoming more and more prevalent). I never thought the work of my hands and the yearnings of my heart would support me and my family, but it is becoming more and more important in my financial livelihood with Mr. FL not working. We aren't solvent by any means, but we are hanging in there and I can thank, in part at least, my creative life for helping to keep us afloat. The grace of God is the other piece of the puzzle. I keep getting the gentle nudge that says, "Trust me to provide for you. I will be faithful if only you will put your trust in me." I must say, every time I get to feeling terrified and panicky, I get a big sale on one of my web venues or something else presents itself that makes me feel like it is a sign that I need to take a deep breath and stop worrying. I need that, I will admit. It feels great and yet, I forget and then I begin to worry all over again. I should grasp that everything will be fine, it just may not be look like what I think it should look like. I need to get over the preconceived notions of what my life should be right now and accept what is and be grateful. I admit, I struggle with that on an almost daily basis....but what is life without struggles, right? I am trying very hard to remember that all we have is now and worrying about tomorrow is a waste of time, but it is so hard. I've never been "here" before. I've never had to rely on the Almighty to figure out how I'm going to pay my bills. This is uncharted waters and yet, I see more and more opportunity for my creative life of art and antiques to become not only a hobby, but a source of my family's very existence. So I go back to my blog title, "be careful what you wish for". It is a double edged sword-wonderful and terrifying, all at the same time. Satisfying at the end of the day. Scary. Warm. Cold. Amazing.
Thanks for being such a great positive and creative source of energy for me and so many others. You guys rock and you mean more to me than you know!
Until next time,
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